GRETCHEN EIRIKSDATTER User Guide and Manual
by MattsyKun
Summary: Congratulations on your purchase of your GRETCHEN EIRIKSDATTER unit! We hope you enjoy this embodiment of Greenland, and give you this manual so you don't sue us.


I figured this would be a great way to get to know my own character more (as in, make sure I didn't forget anything). So I decided to hop on the bandwagon…just this one time. XDD

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**GRETCHEN EIRIKSDATTER: User Guide and Manual**

Congratulations! You have just purchased a GRETCHEN EIRIKSDATTER unit! To ensure that you utilize your unit to the best of her abilities and avoid destroying your house/your friends/you in the process, we have provided you with this User Guide and Manual.

**Name: **Gretchen Eiriksdatter. Will respond to Greenland, Gretchie, Gretch, Naasoq, and (negatively) to daughter or daur.

**Age: **22

**Place of Manufacture: **Nuuk, Greenland

**Height: **168 cm

**Weight: **N/A

**Included with your GRETCHEN EIRIKSDATTER are the following****: **

One (1) large winter parka

One (1) green military uniform

One (1) Viking outfit

Two (2) knitted sweaters, one red and one green

One (1) pair of Levi's 512 jeans

One (1) Fritla Arctic Fox unit

One (1) standard Viking spear

**Programming Options**

Your GRETCHEN EIRIKSDATTER is equipped with the following traits:

**Fisherwoman: **Suck at fishing? Don't like to clean fish? Want some shrimp? GRETCHEN EIRIKSDATTER is the best when it comes to fishing, and will gladly clean fish and cook them too! Get her to work in a fish shop, and you'll be earning money very quickly!

**Exorcist: **Being able to see spirits like her father NORGE unit, GRETCHEN EIRIKSDATTER will make an excellent exorcist with her shaman magic! We are not responsible for any harm that may come upon you as a result of using this programming.

**Flautist: **have your GRETCHEN EIRIKSDATTER play the Yamaha Brand Flute (not included), and you'll have the sweet melodies of the flute playing in your ear! Need background music for a presentation, or need an extra flautist for your ensemble (yeah, like THAT's gonna happen*)? Just set GRETCHEN EIRIKSDATTER down with a piece of music, and you'll have music in a matter of hours!

**Removal of your unit from packaging:**

GRETCHEN EIRIKSDATTER is a rather calm, stable unit, but if woken incorrectly, can achieve disasterous results. In order to avoid any injuries/deaths, we have provided a list of ways to awaken your unit.

1. Shout "Daur!" or "Daughter!" very loudly. GRETCHEN EIRIKSDATTER will jump out of the box, spear in hand, ready to destroy a MATHIAS KOHLER unit. When she sees that her father unit is not around, she will apologize and allow you to reprogram her. It is advised to have the box outside during this activation, as there will be splinters of wood going everywhere.

2. Place one MATTHEW WILLIAMS unit next to the box. GRETCHEN EIRIKSDATTER will carefully get out of the box and start chatting with MATTHEW WILLIAMS, giving you a chance to program her.

3. Cook Greenlandic food or pancakes. If it is the former, your unit will jump out of the box and instruct you in the proper way to cook it. If it is the latter, your unit will search for a MATTHEW WILLIAMS UNIT. Once she calms down from either result, you can program her.

4. Place one LUDWIG WEILLSCHMIDT unit outside of the box. GRETCHEN EIRIKSDATTER will start shaking and crying, begging for an ALFRED. F. JONES unit to protect her. Once the LUDWIG WEILLSCHMIDT unit is removed, you can coax your unit out of the box and comfort and program her.

**Reprograming**

After waking GRETCHEN EIRIKSDATTER, you may reprogram her to any of the following settings:

_Kind (default)_

_Sick (default)_

_Frightened_

_Drunk_

_Viking (locked)_

_Yandere (locked)_

KIND: This is one of GRETCHEN EIRKSDATTER's default modes. She will be very nice, and will be completely understanding. In this mode, she will be extremely loving of her Fritla Arctic Fox unit, and animals in general.

SICK: This is one of GRETCHEN EIRIKSDATTER's default modes. She is always sick, which can vary from a small cold to being in bed with a high fever. In this mode, she is prone to randomly passing out and vomiting if she has eaten food cooked by an ARTHUR KIRKLAND unit.

FRIGHTENED: this mode is unlocked at random, but it will most likely be unlocked if a LUDWIG WEILLSCHMIDT unit is in the vicinity. She will cower in a corner and beg not not be hurt. If coupled with a FELICIANO VAGARAS unit, the two units will hug each other and wave white flags together.

DRUNK: this mode can be unlocked when drinking with an IVAN BRAGINSKI, ALFRED F JONES, or MATHIAS KOHLER unit. With the last unit, your unit MUST have been _Frightened_ mode. Your unit will start downing copious amounts of whiskey (or whatever the other unit's preferred alcohol is). If GRETCHEN EIRIKSDATTER remains in _Drunk_ mode, it can activate _Viking _mode.

VIKING: This is one of the locked modes, and can be achieved three ways. You can either leave GRETCHEN EIRIKSDATTER in _Drunk_ mode for a few hours, make your unit exceedingly angry (which is not recommended), or call your unit by her true name, Naasoq. In _Viking_ mode, if she is within range of a MATHIAS KOHLER unit that is also in _Viking _mode, the two units will disappear for a few days and pillage and harass other units. If she is alone, she will destroy anything she can get her hands on with her spear. She can be pulled out of this mode by a NORGE unit or a MATTHEW WILLIAMS unit.

YANDERE: this mode is locked, and is very hard to achieve. If you place an _Annoyance _MATHIAS KOHLER unit nearby, this will automatically unlock _Yandere _mode in an attempt to remove the nuisance unit. Not much is known about this mode.

**Relationships with other units****: **

**MATTHEW WILLIAMS: **your unit considers him to be her "cousin". She always notices him, and will enjoy the pancakes that he makes. However, if a GILBERT WEILLSCHMIDT unit accompanies your MATHEW WILLIAMS unit, she will avoid MATTHEW WILLIAMS like the plague until the offending unit is gone.

**ALFRED F. JONES: **Your unit's "bodyguard", he will automatically go into _Protective_ mode when a IVAN BRAGINSKI or LUDWIC WEILLSCHMIDT unit is around. He tries to give her burgers, which she turns down. He also tries to take care of her when she is in _Sick_ mode.

**MATHIAS KOHLER: **Your unit will despise a MATHIAS KOHLER unit with every fiber of her being unless she is in _Drunk _or _Viking _mode. Having these two units close together can lead to disastrous results.

**NORGE: **GRETCHEN EIRIKSDATTER is much more tolerable of this unit than the MATHIAS KOHLER unit. She will be wary of him, but will put up with him and is usually kind to him.

**LUDWIG WEILLSCHMIDT: **Your unit is deathly afraid of LUDWIG WEILLSCHMIDT from tensions in the past. If a LUDWIG WEILLSCHMIDT comes within a few yards of your GRETCHEN EIRIKSDATTER unit, she will scream and hide until the unit has passed.

**IVAN BRAGINSKI: **Your unit will love an IVAN BRAGINSKI unit because he is always cold. If she is in _Sick_ mode, having an IVAN BRAGINSKI unit care for her would be advisable, because he can lower her temperature. If you want to activate her _Viking_ mode, have GRETCHEN EIRIKSDATTER spar with IVAN BRAGINSKI, who will usually push her until her _Viking_ mode activates.

**Cleaning**

Your GRETCHEN EIRIKSDATTER can clean herself just fine, but will throw things at you if you attempt to bathe with her (regardless of sex).

**Feeding**

Your GRETCHEN EIRIKSDATTER is a great cook, and is open to all sorts of food except ALFRED F. JONES's food. DO NOT feed GRETCHEN EIRIKSDATTER food made by a ARTHUR KIRKLAND unit, because she will fall deep into her _Sick_ mode and throw up everywhere.

**Rest**

Your unit will sleep when she is tired, and usually keeps a steady sleep schedule. However, Daylight's Savings Time may be a problem for her, and she will lag terribly as she attempts to adjust. Do not wake GRETCHEN EIRIKSDATTER while she is sleeping, or it may activate her _Yandere_ mode.

**FAQ and Troubleshooting**

Q: My unit is talking to thin air! Is she crazy?

A: No, that's one of GRETCHEN EIRIKSDATTER's traits. She can see spirits like the NORGE unit and the ARTHUR KIRKLAND unit. If you make fun of her, she will snap into _Yandere _mode…or sulk.

Q: My unit is crying because she can't find Fritla!

A: Either let Fritla return on his own, or have a MATTHEW WILLIAMS unit with a Kumajiro unit comfort her. She will calm down and apologize for any messes she makes.

Q: GRETCHEN EIRIKSDATTER is being very hostile to my IVAN BRAGINSKI unit; she's throwing his vodka bottles everywhere! How can I stop her from destroying everything?

A: your IVAN BRAGINSKI unit did something to hurt GRETCHEN EIRIKSDATTER, whether physically or emotionally. Have your IVAN BRAGKINSKI unit stay at someone's house for a week or so while your unit talks things out with you or a MATTHEW WILLIAMS unit.

Q: When I opened my box, I found a tiny unit that speaks what I think is Greenlandic and is holding a Kumajiro unit!

A: Whoops! We have accidentally sent you a NAASOQ EIRIKSDATTER unit, the younger version of GRETCHEN EIRIKSDATTER when she lived with Eirik the Red. If you don't want this version, send her back, and we'll send you a GRETCHEN EIRIKSDATTER unit instead. The Kumajiro unit is supposed to come with the NAASOQ EIRIKSDATTER unit; why? It's a secret.

Q: GRETCHEN EIRIKSDATTER keeps complaining that it's too hot, even when it's 43 ̊F outside! What do I do? I don't want to freeze to death!

A: your GRETCHEN EIRIKSDATTER unit is used to the cold, and if it is too hot for the season, she will complain endlessly. To solve this, either make sure that your unit is not running a fever, and have a IVAN BRAGINSKI unit within range of your GRETCHEN EIRIKSDATTER unit.

**Ending Comments**

With enough love and cold air, your GRETCHEN EIRIKSDATTER unit will be a wonderful companion! We hope you enjoy your purchase and have a good time with her!

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This was fun. :D

I just decided to do one for my OC, Greenland. I might write manuals for the Nordics if LolliDictator doesn't do it first. XD


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